Monday, October 3, 2011

Word to the Wise

When you are interested in going out with a single mom of young children, your chances drop drastically when you criticize her children's behavior, followed later by comments about how they need someone to "straighten them out."

While you might have convinced yourself that your motives are purely altruistic and kind, what you are really saying is 1.) she's a bad mother, 2.) she is incapable of rearing them, 3.) their perfectly normal child behavior is a problem for you because you don't know a dang thing about kids, and 4.) you trust your judgment on the matter far more than you trust hers--which is slightly odd, given that she's known the kids a heck of a lot longer than you.

Trust me, there won't be a first date, because she's already seen how this one will play itself out.

And on the odd chance that a single mom happens to pop by here, and has been seduced by this asinine line, and is feeling flattered that a guy cares enough about her and her kids to help shoulder the load and "straighten them out," I am tempted to say that you get exactly what you deserve for being such a moron...but your kids do not. Do all of you a favor and get out while the getting's good.

#whyiamstayinghomethisweekend